Acts 9:15 "He is chosen in my name as my tool, to deliver my name to the world."
This is the second thing Jesus says about Paul ever in Acts, and it is breathtaking as I meditate. After this moment, Paul's life changes just like a flip of a coin.
What is the purpose of life, which the world says? or what my parents had been telling me since I was young? or how my peers live their lives in my age currently? It's pretty simple; it's the matter of what to eat, how to earn money, what to wear. Exactly what Jesus tells us NOT TO WORRY in the four gospels but to trust him, because he even cares for the sparrows and the wild flowers in the fields.
I prayed upon today's journal and I was honest to God; that I am not courageous enough to actually be ready for the hardships I will encounter whilst delivering your name in my works and my life. I need Holy Spirit to give that steel heart in me; I do not know if I could really be stern in your name even in the midst of the world taking away the food, clothing, and money from me because I praise Jesus.
But apparently, the verse does that actually give Paul a choice. Jesus does not ask him. We would think that God's declaration may be some sort of a chain and a force into our lives as if we are losing freedom, but I believe Paul knew right away that was actually the freedom. Encountering the true God and living for his name, even if he had to run away from the city because people were trying to kill him. Which I admire Paul for that blunt change in few hours-days possibly, and I ask the Spirit of God to make that change in my heart also. Not looking back